You can only love your spouse when you love God with all your heart, soul, and mind.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. — Genesis 2:22, NIV.
Is “falling out of love” Biblical?
Society has been telling us that there is a possibility where one can “no longer love” their spouse or their other half. A quick search on google reveals just how prevalent the issue of “falling out of love” has become. But is this “falling out of love” a valid reason for divorce or a break-up? Is this even Biblical?
To answer this question, we will need to return to the foundation of marriage; to the time when God instituted it. God, knowing that Adam needed a helper, made Eve as a gift for him. In other words, Eve was given to Adam by God. There was no other choice. Eve, being as imperfect as she may be, is the manifestation of God’s goodwill towards Adam. And for Adam, the only appropriate response is only praise and thanksgiving (ref: Genesis 2:23, NIV).
Dissatisfaction with God’s gift is to be dissatisfied with God.
For Adam to be dissatisfied with Eve’s imperfections is to be dissatisfied with God and His providence. If Adam was not satisfied with Eve, then that would mean that Adam doubted that God would give the best for him. Likewise, to be dissatisfied with our spouse or our other half is as good as being dissatisfied with the gift that God has given to us. When we are dissatisfied, we fail to see that the gift that God has given is indeed the best for us. We fail to recognize the awesome attribute of God’s goodness. We questioned God.
Of course, we in our fallen human nature, are unable to love God the way God expects of us. That’s why the apostle Paul explained that no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit. If not for the help of the Holy Spirit and the Blood of the Lamb, we will forever be left in sin with no hope of salvation. By this very Spirit who raised Christ from the dead, life will come into our mortal bodies because the Spirit resides within us (ref: Romans 8:11, NIV).
Given our mortal bodies, our vision is blinded by sin and we are unable to see the plans that God has laid out before us (ref: Matthew 13:14, Mark 4:12, Isaiah 6:9). But by the work of the Holy Spirit, God will teach us all things and remind us of all that Jesus has taught (ref: John 14:26, NIV). This includes guiding us back to giving God the worship He deserves (ref: John 4:23-24, NIV).
True Love is Rooted in our Love for God
When we place God in His rightful position and honor God for who He actually is, we will find ourselves content in all circumstances. This secret of contentment is rooted in the understanding that God will provide all that we need (ref: Philippians 4:11-13, NIV). That said, you’ll never be able to love your spouse if you can’t appreciate and honor the One who gave her to you. Heck, if you do not know the awesomeness of God, you’ll never be satisfied with anything that the Lord gives you.
Indeed, true love is rooted in our understanding of God. It is God who we see when we see the gift that He has given. When we see the hands of God at work behind all that He has given us, we will truly appreciate the things He’s given to us. When we love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, we will appreciate our spouses whom God so lovingly entrusted to us. There will not be such a thing as “falling out of love” because it is God we are so in love with in the first place. Now, when we root our love for our spouse on the love we have for God and look our spouse in the eye, all we see will not be their imperfections but God’s amazing provision, tailor-made to help us through life’s toughest storms.