Gay men, you’re gifted. You have a special gift from God when it comes to understanding and intimately, applying the principles of God’s design to seek, desire, and ultimately love God the way He has designed it to be.
Now, hear me out. I’m not condoning the sexual act between two persons of the same gender. Rather, I am referring to the innate desire to be with a masculine character that we are designed to be married to. Trust me, it’ll be good.
“You are made to be attracted to a masculine character, and much more than that.”
For starters, gay refers to the direct sexual desire towards another person of the same-sex (Gay, n.d.). For this article, I’m focusing my attention on gay men – men who are consciously attracted to another man. This attraction is not a simple desire to be with that man. Rather, this attraction is a cumulative desire to be with, to marry, and to spend a lifetime with that man. This attraction is profound and is a part of God’s ultimate creation.
You are made to be attracted to a masculine character, and much more than that.
We are made to be desire, yearn, and marry God.
God’s Ultimate Design
God designed us, as a Church, to be reconciled to Him (Romans 5:10, Colossians 1:20), and to marry Him (Revelations 21:9). We, corporately speaking as a Church, are the bride. The role of the bride is to submit to Him just as a bride submit to her husband (Ephesians 5:24). We need His love, and He is love (1 John 4:8). And He loves us (John 3:16) the way a bride would love her husband to love her (Ephesians 5:25-27).
But because of sin, we all have fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We have rejected His design, His sovereignty, and His love. We have chosen to outwit God. We had this inner desire to be Him, to be in control of our lives. We neglected His presence and His sovereignty. We became slaves of sin and we are beyond the control of righteousness. We are as good as dead (Romans 6:20-21).
God is faithful, though (1 Corinthians 1:9). God has a plan for us to be reconciled to Him. And that is through the salvation of Jesus Christ. We have been set free from sin and the bondage of death. We are now slaves of God, enjoying the benefit of sanctification that leads to holiness, that will bring us ultimately to eternal life, with Him (Romans 6:22). The marriage of the Lamb will come. The marriage between Christ and us must happen.
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, NIV.
The Added Advantage of Being Gay
For this article, I’m basing my assumption that a gay man desires to be with another man the way a girl would desire to be with, date, and marry a man. Based on this assumption, I assume that these people have the natural tendency to want to submit to their partners. In fact, studies have shown that gay men are generally more submissive, causing them to be attracted to men who are more masculine than they are (Seltzer, 2012). And this desire is focused solely on masculinity rather than feminine sexual cues. In other words, gay men are attracted to traits of masculinity rather than feminine traits (Seltzer, 2012). This is a gift from God.
“This desire to enter into a sexual relationship with a masculine being is God’s design for us to be in a sexual union with Him woven into eternity.”
Remember we mentioned that we, as a Church, is wired to be in a relationship with God and this relationship is on a path towards marriage in eternity? Now, if a man can experience the innate desire to be with and ultimately desire to marry a being more masculine than he, he is a step closer than everyone else in the experiencing the love of God. This desire to enter into a sexual relationship with a masculine being is God’s design for us to be in a sexual union with Him woven into eternity. And this will be given to us, if only we declare with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in our hearts that God raised Christ from the dead, that this promise will be given to us (Romans 10:9).
This does not give men the permission to be in a sexual union with men though. Rather, the given desire is for us appreciate His love with greater intimacy. We have the innate longing to be with Him – a masculine being. We have the innate desire to be One with Him. In fact, it is Christ’s prayer that we will ultimately be joined to God through Him (John 17:23). But a man is not a substitute for God. A man will never satisfy our innate desire for an eternal life. Hence a gay man’s desire to submit to a man is an abomination – a curse.
Realign the Compass, Focus on God
Individually speaking, a man is still a man. And individually speaking, a man should be taking up responsibilities, and leading in places they are called to lead. A man should be responsible for the family and lead the church if they are called to (1 Timothy 3:5). A man is not called to submit to another man in a covenantal union called “marriage”. Rather, a man can love another man in a friendship (or brotherhood) that is centered around God (and this love is so intimate that it is “more wonderful than that of woman” – 2 Samuel 1:26, NIV).
“But a man is not a substitute for God. A man will never satisfy our innate desire for an eternal life.”
Hence, the focus here is God. It is normal to desire union with a being more masculine than you are. This desire is placed in us by God, to desire, love, and ultimately be with Him. However, we are called to individually reflect this love, through heterosexual marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33). Get this right, and we will be right with God. A man will never satisfy; God will.
You will be Great, Respected Teachers
“Now, fellow Israelites, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did your leaders. But this is how God fulfilled what he had foretold through all the prophets, saying that his Messiah would suffer. Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out.
Acts 3:17-19A, NIV
Most professing people are not taught what “romantic love” should be like. Most people learn them through the media. What they see, they thought is true. Such is the growth of the LGBT community. Will the slightest of desire make you gay just as what the modern sciences are telling us (reference: “Why ‘Mostly Straight’ Men are a Distinct Sexual Identity”)? Or is our sexuality purposefully designed for an experience that far outweighs confused desire?
Recognise this and divert this desire to God. He will lead you into a blossoming relationship with the Saviour. But remember this desire. Then remember what God promised. He loves us (John 3:16). He promised something better than sex (Alcorn, 2014). He promised a marriage (Revelations 19:7). And He promised an eternity to enjoy the marriage (John 3:16).
Remember this desire, then think about God. He is more than a man. He is more masculine. He is more lovable. He is perfect. And He promised an eternity with Him. Remember His sacrifice for you. Remember His love for you. Remember His house with many rooms. Remember His glorious stature. Then remember the desire for love and affirmation.
Share this love. This is a gift from God.
Curse of Ignorance will be turned into a Blessing
“Now, fellow Israelites (or fellow professing gay men), I know that you acted in ignorance, as did your leaders” (Acts 3:17). You did not glorify God nor give thanks to God (Romans 1:21). But you are forgiven because you do not know what you do (Luke 23:34). And God will turn this curse into a blessing for you because God loves you (Deuteronomy 23:5).
Alcorn, R. (2014). Sex in Heaven? Retrieved from https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/sex-in-heaven
Gay. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay
Seltzer, L. F. (2012). Gay or Straight, A Male is a Male is a Male. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201206/gay-or-straight-male-is-male-is-male
Williams, R. C. S. (2017). Why ‘Mostly Straight’ Men are a Distinct Sexual Identity. Retrieved from http://time.com/5026092/mostly-straight-sexual-identity-bisexual-gay/