In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God but you yourselves cast out.
— Luke 13:28, ESV.
We were together,
United in eternal bliss.
The voices of angels envelops our very Being,
The glory of Love is my identity.
I was the highest of all angels,
I was second to He who created the heavens and the earth.
There was nothing we wouldn’t share,
There was not a time when I wouldn’t be by His side.
When did my mind start to change?
When did my love start to fade?
Jealousy seeped into the depth of my soul.
My Love has started work on something unimaginable,
Doubt arises and fear overwhelms me.
My Lord, my Lord, why are you doing this to me?
“My ways are higher than yours”, He answered.
But what do all of these mean? I cannot make sense?!
I… I felt isolated; dejected.
Men were made, along with their partner.
In His image that I was meant to have.
Sophia delights in them, along with the Elders in heaven.
I was asked to worship and be judged by them?!
What does all these mean? Why is He doing all of these to me?
I drew myself away from Him trying to make sense of all that had happened.
I roam the earth, alone and weary; I see humanity in the glory I once had.
My Love came to me and asked,
“What do you think of them whom I love?”
I was furious! I was mad!
How can He do this to me?!
“Plant a Tree, let them go against You! See if they’ll be as loyal to You as I am!”
“Very well, as you suggested.”
My time has come, He had given me the authority to do this.
Let’s see if these bastards will live up to His expectations.
Let’s see if they’re worthy of His Love!
I came, I stole, I kill, and I destroy.
Out of immense jealousy, I justified all that I do in my heart.
I hate Him who made me who I am!
I hate Him who made them, them!
I wanted to die and I want them dead too.
This is my only chance!
So humanity sinned and betrayed My Love as I’ve planned.
But My Love continued to forgive and to live amongst them.
What does all these filth mean to Him?
Is there a Hidden Truth My Love has kept from me?
For the hurt I’ve caused to Him,
I walked out into the darkness with a swelling fire within me.
I wept as I reflected on the glory we once enjoyed.
Love was no longer how it was to me.
There’s now no reason for me to be with Him.
Tell me The Truth, Love, because I want to know
What’s so great about these humans that You made them dear?
Share with me the richness of Your wisdom like how You once did.
Do not leave me gnashing teeth in anguish!
I am alone, I am weak.
I am cold and drowning in the bottomless pit.
But at my lowest, you let me see,
In your abundant grace,
You’ve never once left me.
The gates of heaven were left open, especially for me.
I glance into it and see You smiling,
“If you’re willing, my child, come back to Me.
We can be how We used to, and I’ll give you peace.”
“How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’ But you are brought down to Sheol, to the far reaches of the pit.
— Isaiah 14:12-15, ESV.